Category Archive: Satire

Committee of HB Students Resolves to Paint the Atrium Olive Green

By Emma Gerber It is hard to deny that our surroundings have a huge effect on our states of mind, productivity, and mood. That is exactly the reasoning of a group of HB… Continue reading

The Brain of a Political Pundit

By Jessica Chang

Weird and Mysterious Animals: the Adler Edition

By Jessica Chang and Shruthi Ravichandran Hello Upper School! It’s us, back again this year to continue our column on weird and mysterious creatures. This time, we’re back with a feature on an… Continue reading


By: Sukhmani Kaur Dear Hathaway Brown community: After much discourse about which kind of snacks should be sold in the Brown Bag, the HB administration has decided that it is time to promote… Continue reading

CSI Sukhmani- The True Senate Uncovered

by Sukhmani Kaur Everyone always suspected it. Nobody could find any concrete evidence, but everyone knew something was wrong. Yes, I am talking about the HB Senate. There was something… “off”… about this… Continue reading

BREAKING NEWS: HB Art Department Reduced to Single Box of Crayola Washable Kids’ Paints

by Regina EganHathaway Brown recently announced a sweeping measure that would eliminate all existing visual and performing arts programs, instead replacing them with a single box of Crayola Washable Kids’ Paints. One inside… Continue reading

“Study” Tips

By: Casey Beiswenger Whether you’re a senior getting ready to submit your interim reports to colleges or a freshman just beginning to adjust to the workload here at The Hath, everyone can always… Continue reading

If America Comes First, Who Comes Second?

by Megan Qiang *This is satire. Please note when reading the following. “From this day forward, a new vision will govern our land. From this day forward, it’s going to be only America… Continue reading

Inauguration Review

by Megan Qiang Hello There! Your ill-equipped and non-qualified expert on all things personable here. So, January 20th provided the nation with a ceremony for the ages. The president-to-be walking down a long… Continue reading

Ask Jasper

By: Jasper Solt Have a Problem? Email your friendly school advice column-er at, for some friendly and helpful advice!   Dear Jasper, Help! I failed a chemistry test! My parents are going… Continue reading