By: Simr Deo
Throughout these past seven slowly passing months I have been able to spend a lot of time with myself. When I felt sad about our current situation and attempted to commence my millionth tangent regarding my struggles to my family, my mom would always rebut with “everyone’s going through it.” Hearing these words during the first couple of months of quarantine seemed insensitive to me, and almost as if my feelings were not valid. As seniors, we await the day when we get to lead the school, sit in the front of the auditorium, collectively brainstorm a theme for homecoming, leave to grab some food with friends, or have the senior room (still haven’t gotten a glance). However, without any warning that’s all gone. I try to tell myself every day that I’ve come to terms with our “new normal,” but in reality, I haven’t and I don’t think I ever will. However, I don’t see that as a bad thing.
I see a new and special importance in being alone now. At first, I was lonely. I couldn’t look past the absence of people and every gloomy thought would grow into another one until tears started streaming from my eyes. Over time, those feelings of sadness morphed into a numbness. I wasn’t sad anymore, but I also wasn’t “over it.” I learned I wasn’t lonely, but I was alone. It’s important to recognize the difference between being lonely and alone. While I sat in my bed and continuously thought about what my life was or “should be” it only created more sadness for myself and distress for my family. Now, sitting in my bed alone on a Saturday night, I realize I’m not really alone. This is time for me, myself, and I, no matter how cheesy it sounds.
Even though it hard to come to terms with everything, I urge you to realize EVERYONE IS GOING THROUGH IT. We may be alone, but in another way, we are together. Hearing my mom say those words to me might have felt insensitive but in reality… it’s just reality. I simply chose to wallow rather than make the best out of the situation. As seniors, we don’t get to sit in the front of the auditorium anymore, but that also means we have a less likely chance of getting dress-coded. I can’t really think of an upside to not having homecoming, but consider buying yourself a dress and taking some nice pictures for Instagram, having your own dance party, or virtually anything (pun intended) because there will never be a shortage of things to make you happy if you try.
P.S. – wear a mask and voter registration ends tomorrow!