By Jessica Chang and Shruthi Ravichandran
Hello Upper School!
It’s us, back again this year to continue our column on weird and mysterious creatures. This time, we’re back with a feature on an intriguing specimen, Mathematicus fanaticus, better known as the one and only Mr. Adler.
In order to study the Adler, we’ve spent an extensive, exhausting year in the field, carefully recording our observations and notes. It required many stressful late nights and ungodly amounts of ice cream (everyone copes in their own way!), but we’re pleased with our results. Now, we’ll be presenting our findings to you, the HB community.
We know many of you have heard of the famed Adler, but few are truly able to understand the behaviors of this complex creature. Studying him was no easy feat, as the Adler speaks in a barely audible voice. His natural habitat, C168, is a cold, often freezing, environment, in which the Adler can be seen wearing color coordinated shirts and ties (courtesy of the yet unsighted Mrs. Adler) and sipping tea (exclusively peach).
However, not all is sweet peach tea and checkered red shirts in the life of the Adler. The Adler’s idyllic existence is often interrupted as he engages in battle with his mortal foe, the smartboard. Time and time again, he endeavours to conquer the vicious board with his indomitable will, but time and time again the evil board manages to thwart his ambitions.
Villainous smartboards aside, the Mathematicus fanaticus also has a few trademark sayings, such as “let’s solve this calculus problem! For fun!” (note to future Adler researchers: a year with the Adler will soon redefine your idea of “fun.”) None of these phrases, however, represents the Adler as well as “chance favors the prepared mind,” which has continually topped the SmartBoard Top 20 Adler quotes. For the purely research-related interests of our audience, we present a few more Top 20 Adler quotes. We will not attempt to put them in context, because putting them in context does not make them make any more sense:
“People often tell me that I’m scary. I don’t know why. I feel empty after that, by the way.”
“You know what I say about sarcasm. It’s the recourse of a weak mind.”
“Anyone with a hello kitty thermos cannot be trusted.”
My wife goes, ‘don’t kill the cat!’ And I go, ‘but she likes it.’”
While the Adler is too fascinating a creature to fully describe in this article, rest assured we will continue to dig deep into our research of him for another three years and continue to share our progress with you.
See you next time, with another weird and mysterious animals feature!
Jessica and Shruthi