***HB BROWN BAG WILL NOW ONLY BE SELLING VEGAN FOOD ITEMS***
By: Sukhmani Kaur
Dear Hathaway Brown community:
After much discourse about which kind of snacks should be sold in the Brown Bag, the HB administration has decided that it is time to promote veganism. We can no longer wait! The HB children are consuming too many dairy products that they are cheesin’ around all day.
Therefore, once the 2018-2019 school year kicks off, the beloved Brown Bag will only be selling the following food items
Here are some comments we received from our loyal customers in a survey:
“I think this is a perfect array of snacks to buy! I mean I am soooo tired of seeing that creepy smile from the goldfish snacks anyways, ugh” – Holly Hathaway
“I can’t believe it. It’s my senior year and they think it’s OKAY to implement better snacks when I leave… gosh. Well, at least this will be my first stop when I come back to visit!” – Sally Senior
“FINALLY! I don’t have to go down to lunch anymore! Eating just asparagus from the salad bar everyday sucks” – Kshama G.
“This might be a cool, new experience for students but only if they think about it positively, and students can only really think that way for just a few weeks. It would be best if there was a mix of both vegan and non-vegan options which are labeled as what they are so that there are fewer complaints from students!” – Anika R.
“Well… it’s great that we are getting new food options, but are they ever even going to be open? I mean, it seems like when I come at 10:31 am I can’t fulfill my growling stomach” – Critical Customer
“You can’t take the chocolate away from me 😦 the college office only has flavored lifesavers… how WILL I SURVIVE next year?” – Julia Junior
The HB Administration
P.S.: We are not sponsored by the HB Green Team or Lorax.