Clown Safety

By: Ainsley Bradbury

If you haven’t already been informed, clowns have been taking over the nation. Many of these clowns have been present in Ohio. If you encounter a clown, please follow these simple steps to ensure your safety.

If you’re in a car…

  • Roll up all windows and lock the doors
  • Get out your phone and take a picture because if you don’t have a picture, did it really happen?
  • Ignore traffic laws and drive really close to the clown to scare it a little
  • If you’re feeling really adventurous roll down the window and try to talk to the clown; if he takes out a knife, drive away immediately

 

If you’re on foot…

  • Get out your phone to take a picture
  • Slowly back away from the clown and hope he doesn’t see you
  • If the clown does see you, run!
  • If the clown begins to follow you, run to a fire station or highly populated area

 

General Clown Safety Tips

  • Never walk alone
  • Stay in populated areas
  • Do not attempt to aggravate a clown
  • Keep your doors locked
  • Check for hiding clowns (under your car, in the bushes, etc.)
  • Avoid McDonalds, Ronald McDonald is a clown