by Brett Parsons

So, I often get asked “What is it like to live with Mr. Parsons as your dad?” or “What is like to have Camryn as your sister?” or even, “What is it like to have two teacher-parents?” so here is your answer:

What is it like being a Parsons?

You live with not one but two English teacher parents so…

You will never get away with bad grammar.

Me or Camryn: “Yeah there were less people-”

Mom and dad: “FEWER!”

You are a family of nerds.

Me and Camryn debated about what Hogwarts house our family would be in.

Mom: “Slytherin.”

Camryn: “Ravenclaw.”

Me and Dad: “Hufflepuff.”

My dad desperately wants to be a Ravenclaw but according to him he, “isn’t smart enough.”

Dinner discussions include…

How to deal with classes that talk to much or don’t talk enough, or what a book actually means.

We actually discussed (and this is a direct quote from my mom), “how do you feel about the oxford comma?”

bc were smart

They both try to keep up.

Dad: “Why, when ever you post a picture of the family, everyone says ‘fam goals’?”

Camryn “Well, because we are awesome.”

thumbs up

My mom had me follow my cousin’s girlfriend on Instagram for her.

My dad asked with concern, “Well, what if they break up?”

My mom quickly responded, “Then I will unfollow her.”

My dad took a moment and shyly said, “Well, that seems a little harsh.” 

My mom asked me if I blocked her on Instagram because it had been a while since I posted and she hadn’t seen anything.

Scott Parsons is actually your dad.

im the cool dad

I heard opera coming from the basement and I figured my dad was grading or just chilling out but no; I walked downstairs and he was working out. To opera.

Once in 9th grade he came into my English class to talk to Ciuni and we were complaining about a pop quiz and he just went on and on about the thrill of of taking a pop quiz.


(his actual face while talking about it)

He gets very passionate about my sports.

“When you rebound you better hold that ball like it’s your only child.”

We get into some twitter feuds

Screen Shot 2016-03-01 at 8.04.00 AMbrett

Camryn Parsons is actually your sister and when you put Scott and Camryn together you get some interesting conversations

Dad: “I would join in on the conversation but I got bored with it 7 minutes ago.”

Camryn: “Yeah, well I got bored with you 7 years ago.”

Me and my mom: “Ohhhhhhhhhhh!!’


Me: “Yeah, I should have packed some salty foods.”

Camryn: “You should have taken me.”

Dad: “Haha you just burned yourself.”

Camryn: “I know.”

Posted by:hbinretrospect

Reporting not for school, but for life.

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