How to Tell if You’re Actually a Goat

by Yardena Carmi

Check any that apply:

  1. You will chew on anything.
  2. You have square pupils.
  3. You often scream at the sky.
  4. People have told you that you have awful body odor.
  5. You have been cultivating a chin beard.
  6. The world is your toilet.
  7. People assume things about you and you often feel misjudged.
  8. You are just in love with hay. I mean, who isn’t?
  9. You’re smarter than you look, but also twice as aggressive.
  10. You’ve been crashing in a barn a lot lately.
  11. Your hooves are cloven.
  12. You have great hair.
  13. You are distrustful of other people.
  14. Your lawn is the tidiest.
  15. Kids love you.


If you checked five or more than you are MOST DEFINITELY a goat!


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