by Lizzie Crotty

the greatest gift in life would be to go before the others

to never have to place a bouquet on a stone carved with too few words

or cry amongst a sea of black

to never be collapsed beside a hospital bed

or hear “we did everything we could”

to never watch their eyes become blank, the windows to their soul sealing shut

or hold a hand that has held too much

until it falls limp

 

the greatest gift in life would be to never feel that pain

to never think “it could have been me”

and never wish that it was

to never regret having not done enough

and never spend sleepless nights thinking

you could have changed the outcome

 

the greatest gift in life would be to never have to miss them

to never have to feel sorrow every time you smile at a joke you shared

to never long to feel their embrace and know you cant

to never miss the music of their voice and the aroma of their skin

 

the greatest gift in life would be to be the first to go

but a gift that can only be given to one

and curses all the others

 

I wish there could be joy without pain

Life without death

Light without dark

Hope without hopelessness

But they must coexist

Or else blend to nothingness ‘

And feeling nothing is much worse than

feeling it all