By: Ines Zippe

I often find myself spending hours on Instagram instead of finishing my homework or actually doing something productive. Most of us are guilty of this. It’s one of the many negative impacts of social media. One minute I am looking at a post of ice cream, and the next I am somehow surveying images of the South American mountains. At some point during one of these long and addicting Instagram sessions, we as HB students are bound to find the account of a teacher. Naturally, curiosity immediately overcomes us to lead us to begin stalking our teacher, discovering what their lives are like beyond school doors. Here are some predictions as to what we would find:

J Mo:


J Mo is bound to post pictures of all his favorite artworks, including some of his own paintings. His Instagram would also include a picture of all his favorite shoes- organized by color. One of J-Mo’s favorite places to spend his weekends is the West Side Market. This would therefore lead to pictures of all the meats and pastries that the store has the offer.

Ms. Gordon:


What else could you find but shoes? Big and small, high or low, black or rainbow, ALL SHOES! EVERYTHING!

Mr. Vogel:


Finding Mr. Vogel’s Instagram page would be like flipping through a travel guide. Images of his exotic travels from the rural plains of Thailand to the streets of Istanbul would provide an up-close and personal view of the global world. Also, don’t be surprised if you come across a picture of cows. Mr. Vogel has a special attachment to his cattle and practically considers them family. Also, we know Mr. Vogel loves food, so, yes, he would proudly be a part of the cult that Instagrams their dinner.

Mr. Purpura:


Please, Mr. Purpura does not have an Instagram. Way too mainstream for him.

Ms. Armstrong:


If Ms. Armstrong happened to have an Instagram, what we would most likely find posts about all her favorite books. Ms. Armstrong would use her Instagram like a reading blog, telling the world what books they should avoid and what books they should definitely get their hands on. Because Ms. Armstrong recently went to Iceland, we can also imagine some candid shots of her braving the icy mountains and green vegetation of Iceland.

Mr. Parsons:

You know that person whose captions seem to always be on point? This would be Mr. Parsons. His wittiness and puns can always grasp attention of an audience, leading to many likes and lots of followers. As to what Mr. Parson would actually Instagram, what comes to mind is pictures of his family, his dog Lucy, and his favorite Retrospect and English students.


Some people can get away with posting selfies, while some people really can’t. Fortunately, Godshall is a part of the elite group who can get away with posting the occasional selfie or two with the HB community. Godshall would also use her Instagram to send out messages about what is happening at HB. No need to check your email, all you would have to do is check this Instagram page to be updated on “The Week Ahead”.

Comment below with any other ideas/ predictions!


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Posted by:hbinretrospect

Reporting not for school, but for life.

One thought on “If Teachers Had Instagrams

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