Freshman Questions: ANSWERED

By: Hannah Yahraus

  1. When do we start talking about college?

Want to be besties with a senior? Here are five steps to wiggling your way into their heart

  • Don’t ask them about college
  • Do not say you are worried about college
  • Do not get a B on your first test of the year and say you will not get into college
  • Do not ask a senior where they want to go to college
  • Do not say the word “college”

Okay, so really. I worried about college as a freshman too. Being ready for the next step in life is important, it’s the reason I came to HB. BUT believe me when I tell you that YOU DO NOT NEED TO WORRY YET. Mr. Parsons would probably tell you that you don’t need to worry ever, so if you feel the tears coming, go to Parsons for your daily dose of optimism that, for the most part, isn’t actually delusional. Oh, which brings us to the next question.

  1. Is Mr. Parsons scary?

Mr. Parsons is a lovely human being that enjoys teaching and being his benevolent self in his spare time. He also has a semi-inflated ego because people say things like this about him pretty often, but that doesn’t stop him from being at least semi-cool. He really exists in this world to bring happiness. Kind of like a unicorn… Now, take those words with you and march into the Writing Center. You’ll miss out on too much awesome if you wait until next year.

  1. Why is everyone so scary?

We try not to be L New people, new building, maybe new school. Change is scary. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out that every side-glance is not someone wishing you would stop breathing. We might joke about there being too many of you, but really we’re glad you’re here. So, if we shove past you in the hall, it’s only because you stopped walking all-of-the-sudden and we really need to get to class.

  1. Do they ever stop talking about feminism?

I’ll say just a little on this. Before I came here in 9th grade, feminism and women’s rights were things I somehow thought were not completely relevant to me, which sounds really strange since I am a girl. When I came to HB I began to hear all of these stories and these opinions on women and how they factor into the world. So, when you hear all of those things, realize that, at least in a small way, they are talking about you. All of us are going have to take on the world by ourselves someday, it’s best you figure out now that doing that as a girl is going to be different.

  1. Do they ever serve juice?

It appears as though the answer for the year is “no”. Last year “yes”. This year, “no”. The trick is to first embrace the idea you’re actually trying to drink one of your eight glasses of water you’re supposed to be drinking every day. Then, you look to see which water looks like it will taste closest to nothing (so, it’s like, normal). Or race everybody to the few pitcher/jug things that actually have water that is meant to taste like nothing. Oh, and avoid the counterintuitive jalapeño water no matter what.

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