Pop Culture Chats: Scott Parsons
By Lexi Anderson
Everyone knows Scott Parsons as the chill, cookie-loving, plaid-wearing guy who lives in the Osborne Writing Center. But this week I got up close and personal with Parsons to get an inside look at something even more important than his tips for college essays: his views on pop culture. It’s clear that from Beyoncé to crunk, Parsons does not turn down for anything.
Who is your favorite One Direction member?
I don’t know any. Sorry.
Are you a Nicki Minaj fan?
I’m not against her. I’m not anti-Nicki. I’m supportive of Nicki Minaj, even if I don’t listen to her music.
What is your favorite song off of Beyoncé’s new album, Beyoncé?
I don’t know any songs off that album. People tell me…well no, I don’t know any songs. I don’t know what to think of Beyoncé.
You don’t like Beyoncé?
I feel…I don’t know what to think of her. I don’t know what to make of her. I like her message but if she were not delivering the message in massive high heels and leather…it feels contradictory. I don’t know what to make of it. I’m sorry.
So would you classify yourself as a hater?
No, I wouldn’t go that far. I just…I would classify myself as perplexed by Beyoncé.
Have you ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?
Um, I feel victimized that she never introduced herself to me. I don’t know who she is. I’m failing these questions terribly. Who is she?
Oh. I like that movie.
Do you know which one she is?
I can’t remember.
She’s the mean one. Rachel McAdams.
Yeah. I… what was the question?
Do you feel personally victimized?
Yes. Now I do.
Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, or Kanye West?
That’s like the triumvirate of awful!
Well, I would…I would have to go Kanye because I actually listen to his music, even though I feel conflicted about it because I don’t feel like I should; he’s a horrible mess of a mouth. I mean, stop being stupid Kanye. But the other two, ugh no.
Have you ever dropped your thun thun thun?
These are good questions. I don’t know what that is, either, but I might’ve dropped it a couple years ago.
Gale or Peeta?
I gotta go Gale, except that if we’re talking “Peeta or Gale for Katniss,” it has to be Peeta. Because Gale – you’re gonna get a spoiler here – Gale took himself out of the running; not an option anymore after those actions at the end of the third book. But me, personally, I like Gale better. I liked him better anyhow; that was totally solidified by the movies where Peeta just seems mopey.
Can you twerk?
No. Nope. No I can’t. I’m sorry.
And last question: If HB offered a crunk class, a dance class in crunk, would you take it?
I would teach it.
You would teach it?
I would teach it for sure.
Okay, thank you.
Those were intense questions.
Image Source: http://www.people.com/people/miley_cyrus/photos/#30104402