Pop Culture Chats: Scott Parsons

By Lexi Anderson

Everyone knows Scott Parsons as the chill, cookie-loving, plaid-wearing guy who lives in the Osborne Writing Center.  But this week I got up close and personal with Parsons to get an inside look at something even more important than his tips for college essays: his views on pop culture. It’s clear that from Beyoncé to crunk, Parsons does not turn down for anything.

Who is your favorite One Direction member?

I don’t know any. Sorry.

Are you a Nicki Minaj fan?

I’m not against her. I’m not anti-Nicki. I’m supportive of Nicki Minaj, even if I don’t listen to her music.

What is your favorite song off of Beyoncé’s new album, Beyoncé?

I don’t know any songs off that album. People tell me…well no, I don’t know any songs. I don’t know what to think of Beyoncé.

You don’t like Beyoncé? 

I feel…I don’t know what to think of her. I don’t know what to make of her. I like her message but if she were not delivering the message in massive high heels and leather…it feels contradictory. I don’t know what to make of it. I’m sorry.

So would you classify yourself as a hater?

No, I wouldn’t go that far. I just…I would classify myself as perplexed by Beyoncé.

Have you ever felt personally victimized by Regina George?

Um, I feel victimized that she never introduced herself to me. I don’t know who she is. I’m failing these questions terribly. Who is she?

Mean Girls?

Who?

Mean Girls?

Oh. I like that movie.

Do you know which one she is?

I can’t remember.

She’s the mean one. Rachel McAdams.  

Yeah. I… what was the question?

Do you feel personally victimized?

Yes. Now I do.

Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, or Kanye West?

That’s like the triumvirate of awful!

Pick one.

Well, I would…I would have to go Kanye because I actually listen to his music, even though I feel conflicted about it because I don’t feel like I should; he’s a horrible mess of a mouth. I mean, stop being stupid Kanye. But the other two, ugh no.

Have you ever dropped your thun thun thun?

These are good questions. I don’t know what that is, either, but I might’ve dropped it a couple years ago.

Gale or Peeta? 

I gotta go Gale, except that if we’re talking “Peeta or Gale for Katniss,” it has to be Peeta. Because Gale – you’re gonna get a spoiler here – Gale took himself out of the running; not an option anymore after those actions at the end of the third book. But me, personally, I like Gale better. I liked him better anyhow; that was totally solidified by the movies where Peeta just seems mopey.

Can you twerk?

No. Nope. No I can’t. I’m sorry.

And last question: If HB offered a crunk class, a dance class in crunk, would you take it?

I would teach it.

You would teach it?

I would teach it for sure.

Okay, thank you.

Those were intense questions.

Image Source: http://www.people.com/people/miley_cyrus/photos/#30104402