Why is Everyone So Obsessed with Ivy?
By Community Garden
Greetings Upper Schoolers, Gossip Garden here.
Had you forgotten me in the drudgery of winter? Well I have been braving the cold, drowning in snow, AND most importantly, staying caught up on all of the drama at the Hath. While reading the online Retrospect this week (don’t act surprised, you know I’m the most tech-savvy garden around), I was confused why there were so many articles about the “Ivy League”. These writers were writing about how HB girls desire to become a part of the “Ivy League”. ARE YOU PEOPLE CRAZY? Of all the plants to enter into a league with you choose ivy???? Personally, I think ivy is nasty. It grows randomly and can completely take over an area without warning. Not to mention it is sometimes POISONOUS. If you wanted to enter into a league with a plant, why not choose one of the scrumptious vegetables I grow. Maybe start a new college league called the cucumber league or the tomato league or even the kale league. Almost anything is better than ivy… But do what you want humans, you never fail to surprise me.
On another note, I noticed in the articles that entrance into this “Ivy League” is difficult. I have a brilliant idea that could help you enter this league (although I am still confused why you would want to associate with such a strange plant…). You should help care for me! These “Ivy League” schools want you to be passionate about different activities, so you may think to yourself “I’ll try debate, I’ll join the track team, I’ll start a club”. Those are all fine ideas but SO common. Why not try gardening!!! It will set you apart AND will allow you to make a new friend (me!). To get involved, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Until next time…you know you love me,
XOXO Gossip Garden