Biweekly Update with Fallon Gallagher (1.26)

By Fallon Gallagher

This past Monday, the United States of America celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. Day for the fourteenth time as an entire nation. Many Americans celebrated the day in different ways. In New York City, Mayor Bill de Blasio invoked Dr. King’s ideology in order to further his own political agenda by saying, “Dr. King would tell us that we cannot wait” to bring economic equality to all people of New York. The Obamas, on the other hand, spent the Monday channeling Dr. King via service work at DC Central Kitchen, a local soup kitchen in the DC metro area that was making beef burritos to serve. However, fifty years since Dr. King won the Nobel Peace Prize, his civil rights work is not complete. The same man who was celebrating Dr. King just this Monday, President Obama, recently spoke of his lower approval ratings in an interview with The New Yorker, claiming his decline in popularity is related to his skin color. Yes, Mr. President, it’s because you’re black. All of a sudden the American public doesn’t like you as much because you’re black and it probably has nothing to do with recent disasters, i.e., Your logic may have some holes.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is still drowning in the “Bridgegate” scandal, which has almost singlehandedly ruined any chance of the governor winning the Republican bid in 2016. The scandal began a few weeks ago when the press revealed that a top aid of the governor demanded the closure of lanes on the George Washington Bridge in October, creating major traffic jams on the crowded route across the Hudson from New Jersey to Manhattan.  The New Jersey Attorney General has now subpoenaed Christie’s 2012 re-election campaign as this investigation deepens.

President François Hollande of France has recently been in the limelight for an alleged affair with an actress. After two weeks of speculation, the president is officially separating from his wife, Valérie Trierweiler. The Telegraph reports that Hollande’s top advisers have counseled him to stay “a bachelor president.” Flash forward to January 2015: Next week on The Bachelor we are in the Seychelles Islands… “C’est très beau ici, François” … “oh la la la la, Monsieur Présidente” … Amélie S. fights with Colette R. over who loves François more. Tune in at 8/7 central for tout le drame!

And for some reason, the American public has found another story that the people believe surpasses the importance of all previous listed news: Justin Bieber’s smiling mug shot. The teen pop star’s rowdy night in South Beach ended in Bieber’s arrest for drunk driving, driving without a valid license, and resisting arrest. The story has caught the attention of every news source ranging from TMZ to CNN—that’s when you know where the majority of American priorities lie. While his “Beliebers” are protesting that JB is a “victim”, some people are so outraged by the star’s behavior that they are proposing deportation. Looks like US Border Patrol might need to shift their eyes from the southern border to the north, eh?

For Biweekly Update, I’m Fallon Gallagher– and still in shock that I just added Retrospect to the list of publications reporting on Justin Bieber’s idiocy.