Creative Excuses for Not Doing Your Homework

By Isabel Weil

It’s a Sunday night at nine o’clock, and I haven’t even started that English essay due tomorrow. Please don’t remind me about the Algebra POTD! Anxiety turns into hysterics and finally morphs into a surrendered dread. Why even bother? I might as well not do it because I know the quality of the work would be absolutely horrific after speeding through it in just an hour.

If only I could conjure up some good excuses for not doing my homework …

(You can never be too prepared!)

1. My pet fish, Mr. Bubbly (they always fall for the cute names), was flushed down the toilet this weekend. I had enjoyed his lovely company for 3 years, and his death was too much to bear. I spent the whole weekend in bed and couldn’t go an hour without crying.

**TIP – Start to tear up at the beginning, progressing into full-blown sobs. The uncomfortable situation will make it more likely for the teacher to let you “off the hook.”

Screen Shot 2013-12-08 at 4.00.08 PM Screen Shot 2013-12-08 at 4.00.30 PM

2. My mother found my assignments lying on the kitchen counter, and, during one of her awful bad mood spells, ripped them up and stuffed them into the trash can. She then proceeded to dump the dinner leftovers atop the papers. I was not about to stick my hand among the remnants of chicken bones and tomato sauce to retrieve those!

3. My baby cousin decided to make a paper snowflake out of some homework, and then colored it with pink and purple polka dots. At least she was creative….

**TIP – bring in a picture of your cute little cousin, preferably with a snowflake in her hand, for the teacher to ogle at. If not prepared for class, at least you were ready to get out of it.

4. My cat fell into a deep slumber on top of my homework and she looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake her up.

Screen Shot 2013-12-08 at 3.58.40 PM

5. I was riding the bus and starting the homework on Friday afternoon when the annoying boy in front of me stole it out of my grasp. He swiftly made a paper airplane and aimed it for the window. I jumped up and almost caught it, but it slid through the window and out onto the highway!

6. I distinctly recall completing the homework, but it turns out I fell asleep atop my ENORMOUS pile of papers and dreamt the whole thing! …..well, at least I was thinking about it, even if it was only in my dreams.

Screen Shot 2013-12-08 at 3.57.25 PM

At HB, however, the real best thing would be to just tell your teacher the truth, for they almost always understand the situation and will give you an extra night to complete the assignment. Nonetheless, it could be very interesting if one of these worked!